somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
