Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
