worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
