i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
