How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
