So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
