Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
