after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
