I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize