yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize