We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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