Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
