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yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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