Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
