maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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