Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
