worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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