It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
