Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
