ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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