gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
