I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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