Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Randomize
