The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
