so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
