Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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