it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
My feet surprised me
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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