I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize