You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
