We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
