Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
