Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
