She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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