I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
how does that bad decision feel?
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