at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
