And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
