no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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