I met the friendliest cop last night
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
