I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
