69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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