I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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