It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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