there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize