Reggie can tackle my bush.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
