Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
