Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
