1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think I died a long time ago.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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