I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
