Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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