you win again, gameday.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
There r osticjed everywhere
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
