A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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