I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize