Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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