Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
