I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
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