fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Randomize
