I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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