sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
