You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
