so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
