I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
